Sue the English Language

Who Put the R in February?

 

Who put the C in discipline?

Why an A in aisle?

Or the O in jeopardy?

Oh, the English Guile!

 

Who put the R in February?

Or G and H in through?

With all these extra letters,

What’s a soul to do?

 

He can’t just chuck the L in could,

Or drop the G from gnome,

She can’t steal the H from ghost,

Or the B in comb.

 

Why P H in philanthropist?

When F could do the job?

Sometimes the English Language,

Makes me want to sob.

 

I think the People of the World,

Would have a valid case,

The sue the English Language,

For taking too much space.

 

Just think of all the time we’d save,

To spell with endless ease,

Save our hands from writing cramps,

And also save more trees.

 

The little voice inside my head,

Knows we wouldn’t win,

Because the People of the World

Would only feel chagrin.

 

Though countless misdemeanors,

The English Language has,

It’s the People of the World,

Who put two Zs in jazz.

 

We all made the system.

And guilty are we all,

Who put the R in February?

Simply it is—y’all.

 

-M.M.

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