The Tiresome Job of Hiring Poems

1.

Me:

Why should we hire you for the job?

Poem:

I promise I’ll keep quiet.
I won’t even make a peep.
I’ll work harder than the rest
and never. . . fall. . . asl—

Me:

Mr. Poem? Mr. Poem. MR. POEM! Oh dear. Someone tell Janet at the front desk we have another one.


5.

Me:

If I asked someone who knows you well, what would they say is your best skill?

Poem:

I’m really good at rhyming.
My mom says that my rhyming
is a special kind of rhyming.
She can listen to my rhyming
all day if I keep rhyming.

Me:

All day, huh? No kidding.


14.

Me:

Why should we hire you over other poems?

Poem:

Cuz i’m gud at #gramar
My @englishteacher was DA BOM.
U should c how many likes I get
each day @ my.com

Me:

. . . *speechless* . . .


23.

Me:

It says here that you self-identify as a darkness poem? Could you elaborate?

Poem:

square

Me:

I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that.

Poem:

square

Me:

Ok. . . . Would you excuse me for a moment?

Poem:

square

Me:

Janet, there’s a poem in there I can’t read.

Janet:

The darkness poem? Just close your eyes or turn off the lights.

Me:

What?

Janet:

He’s scared of the light.

Me:

Right. Ok. Just close my eyes.

Janet:

Go on. It’s alright.

Me:

Mr. Darkness Poem, are you still here.

Poem:

square

Me:

Thank you. That will do.


41.

Me:

Hello! What’s your name?

Poem:

Jerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Me:

Janet!

Poem:

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Me:

JANET!

Poem:

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Janet:

What’s the matter? I was just—

Poem:

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Janet:

Oh my!

Me:

I think his keyboard is stuck.

Janet:

What do we do?

Me:

I don’t know. Maybe we should just give him a nudge.

Poem:

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrome.

Me:

Are you ok?

Poem:

Yeah. I’m fine. Did something happpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

Janet:

Oh dear.


251.

Me:

Thank you for waiting. We’ve had more applicants today that usual. What have you got to share?

Poem:

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Me:

Oh dear.

-M.M.

Advertisements

Please comment here.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s