Will You Still Kiss Me? I’m sorry. I should have realized by the color of the stripes and the softness of the bristles that it was your toothbrush. -M.M. image by iStock Advertisements
a day in the life of a poetry-hiring professional
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you! we sang to my brother when he’d just turned two. Make a wish and blow out the candle, we said. He took a big breath and his face turned bright red. Then he let it all go … Continue reading Happy Birthday, Halloween
You can’t have this poem. I called it first. Shotgun. No do-overs. Can’t be reversed. It’s mine—finders keepers. It’s mine—pinky swear. It’s mine—losers weepers. Sorry. Life isn’t fair. I thought it first. I went and picked it. You sure you still want it? That’s why … Continue reading I Call this Poem!
Old Levi neglected to say,
In hopes of increasing his pay,
That once they get wet,
You bet you can bet,
Your jeans will be soaking all day.
A compendium of trinkets
To terrify the blinking,
Backward, and estranged.
Call it reverse amnesia,
Call it spoil-sport,
But the rarest of all riddles
Is that with no retort.
I sent the words to “The Star-Spangled Banner”, the national anthem of the United States, through a bunch of languages in Google Translate and then back to English. The result was . . . unique.
Google Translate Sings “The Star Spangled Banner”
Aha! You say
in the light of the aurora.
See your sunset!
Bands of light and dramatic confrontation.
Today we are looking
at the wall.
A bomb exploded at a red light.
it is consistent.
Bud, Stars, and Stripes.
“You want to do WHAT?”
“But… he’s fictional—”
“And I wrote him into existence.”
“Romantic, isn’t it. I just can’t wait to—”
“BUT HE’S NOT REAL.”
“So what what? Are you going to put the book on the altar and…”
“Yes. Won’t it be wonderful: I now pronounce you book and wife. You may now kiss the book.”
“You’re unwell. I ought to call the—”
“Oh hush up. It’s true love. Don’t be jealous.”
“Jealous? I’ll try really hard.”
“You never were much of a Romantic.”
“That’s why I write about friendly, dignified, personified…”
“…DREAMY! Don’t forget to dreamy.”
“dreamy, and apparently attractive llamas!”